gotgreenmagic | 94

[Private]

Hey, Doc.

Thanks.

Seriously. Thank you for illustrating exactly how wrong a plan can go.

[Her voice grows faster and her tone more aggressive as she talks.]

Here I thought that whole mess with the mind control was bad. Here I thought this one was way too ambitious, that I was just getting a free favor by helping you out, but - no. You didn't just fail, you turned everybody into freaking zombies for the weekend. Even the people who were originally alive, somehow, that's - that is really special. And if you'd actually been trying to kill everybody I might consider giving you some credit, but even then it still wouldn't have worked! It's like you simultaneously suck at being charitable and being evil.

I --

You know something?

[A breathless laugh.]

I'm done. I am done with going down on every sinking ship with you and Dr. D and every other member of your loser collective at the wheel. I'm done taking orders from you morons like that lets me off the consequences, like I don't already know exactly what they're gonna be. And I - I have always hated taking responsibility, you know? Heck, a few years ago I just turned around and walked away from everything I'd ever known because I - couldn't do that. Wouldn't. Whatever.

[She's silent for a moment, almost brooding, then gets up from her chair and starts pacing.]

What I'm saying is, I am a huge fan of stuff not being my fault. It has been painfully easy to just drift through life on this dumb tide of other people's bad decisions. But you know what? That's over. Even if I did escape - and I could, the blueprints are in my sock drawer, I totally could - but even if I did, what then? Run away so I can latch onto some other [fingerquotes!] 'genius' with a terrifying big-plans-to-common-sense ratio? No. No no no no no. I would rather step up right now than even consider demeaning myself for a paycheck from one more of you idiots.

[She stops and stares at the camera, hands on her hips.]

I have finally realized that I am better than that. Am I making myself clear? I deserve better.

And if I have to go out and get it for myself, fine. It's not like I ever wanted much from life, you know? I don't want to rule the world or whatever. Even when I was a hero: I wanted to be rich, and I wanted a reputation. I wanted people to run when they saw my face. Kind of hard to do that when you're leading the world's lamest heroes - not much easier when you're tagging along after the world's lamest villains. Maybe --

[Another pause, and she sits down, slowing her breakneck pace. She's talking to herself now, not to the communicator.]

Maybe if I -

[She's silent for a few moments, and drums her fingernails against her desk once.]

I need to think about this.

[Abruptly, she leans over and switches off the communicator.]

[Private to Prefect]

Why did you stay here after you graduated? I mean, I get that the Factory isn't necessarily a place you'd wanna go back to, but...you've got buddies who've left, right? Other worlds you could've gone to. Why stay?

[Private to Tim]

I'm not gonna ask if the offer's still open, because...the situation's moved on, and it's not like I need your stamp of approval on whatever interdimensional transport visa this is gonna need.

But I'm asking as a friend. If I went to Gotham - not even necessarily Gotham, but your world - after I was done here, would that be...unmanageably weird for you?

[Private to the Admiral]

If I - who am I kidding? - when I graduate...what happens then? If I want to go someplace else, can you make that happen? Not just send me there but, like, fix my documentation so it says I got a degree from a university that actually exists in that world. I don't really want my first step to have to involve forgery and/or identity theft

...

What if I wanted to visit home before I left? Could you make that happen? I know Prefect did his little BFF tour before he came back here, so I'm guessing it's doable. Maybe that was like a bonus package for new Wardens though.

[Private to Kirk]

I quit quitting. [She doesn't sound drunk, exactly, but there's an uncharacteristic lightness of tone that suggests she's either a few shots down or in a fabulous mood. Yeah, probs the former, however did you guess.] Come have a drink, celebrate your rediscovered lease on life. I'm still working out this whole 'moderation' thing.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Jim took the shot from her and stared at it instead of drinking it. "Alright Shego, what's really sparking this?"

"I'm in a good mood. Why do you have to overanalyze everything?"

She dropped onto her couch, retrieving her own half-empty glass but not drinking yet in favour of just swirling it around.

"...I guess I've done some thinking."

He stares at her for a moment before just downing the shot because it's not like the vodka will really affect his ability to think, go functional alcoholism.

"What about?"

"Basically my entire life up to almost exactly this point," she drawled. "Took a while."

"You're not that old," Jim joked, putting the glass down.

"You graduating or something on me?"

She paused and sipped her drink, mostly to evade eye contact.

"What would you do if I was?"

Jim noticed that too, and stepped a little closer to her. "I'd be so happy for you my limited emotional range can't even express it properly."

She glanced up at him from where she was sitting.

"I know, Jim. I'm not asking how you would feel, I'm asking what you would do."

He was quiet for a few moments. "Probably go to Enterprise. See how they're holding up." The fact that his time there was limited too didn't need to be talked about. If Bones didn't follow through on his deal, then he'd probably die for real.

Given their conversation a little while ago she wasn't one hundred per cent sure that the near-certainty of his death would be enough to keep him on the Barge.

"Would you come back?"

Jim shrugged. "Maybe. You thinking about sticking around?"

"Duh. It's this or get a real job. How else am I gonna get my private island?"

"Marry rich?" Kirk suggested. "I could be persuaded to come visit you. If you don't come visit me."

"Good idea. You can come meet my brothers and understand why I decided to pursue a life of crime." She paused, then huffed out a sigh. "I'm not going home. There's nothing left there for me."

"I think I'm still fond of Enterprise," Jim answered. "But this isn't about me. It's about you."

"Yeah, and it bothers me that you're kind of 'yeah, whatever' about the possibility of your imminent death. I've made my choice. I'm through with running when life's complicated and I'm through with stagnating for years on end when it isn't. I - "

She finished off her glass.

"I'm through with telling myself I don't care until I actually believe it."

She literally has years of maturity on him right now. But he really can't get up the energy to get upset over his possible death because either it's going to happen or it isn't. It doesn't matter if he stresses out about it or not. And he doesn't want to run from it.

"I'm glad to finally hear that."

That felt unnecessary, but she was on a roll and it stopped her taking offense.

"It'd be nice if I could hear a little more of it from you right now, Kirk. Maybe you think ~destiny~ is gonna fix you up again, but I'm not so sure. Heck, I would rather pass on the private island and sort out your stupid life myself than leave it to cha - "

There was a sort of clattering sound she couldn't place, and she looked around. Near where Kirk was standing, on the arm of the couch furthest from her, three cookies had materialized on a plate.

Jim was too busy staring at the plate of cookies to tell her that she wasn't allowed to make any deals that had to do with his crappy issues because that would just bring everything to a whole new level of horrible co-dependence.

"I'm going to hug you and then we are celebrating and we can fight over my possible death tomorrow."

He was coming for the hug as he said that, so too bad if she didn't want it.

She was still kind of recovering from the presence of graduate-cookies on her couch when he said all that, but when he hugged her she just wound her arms around him and hugged back tightly because it felt like the best thing possible to do in that moment.

"Yeah," she said quietly.

Jim gave her a good tight squeeze, resting his chin on top of her head. "How's it feel?"

"Weird." She couldn't even qualify it as 'good weird' yet. Steps into the unknown hadn't been her thing for a long time. "Really, really...weird."

"I can imagine. We can do whatever you want. To celebrate, I mean."

She just gave him an unreadable look for a moment. Then smirked.

"I know. You don't get to tell me what I can and can't do any more, slick."

"Please. I'm going to nag you for long as I know you." That might end up being only a couple more days. But he didn't want to decide anything right now. It was her night.

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94 - Video

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