gotgreenmagic | 89

[Intended to be private to Kirk, but is of course completely public. TYVM BARGE.]

[This is posted in the early hours of the morning - four or five AM. Shego's voice is hoarse and whispery - she sounds completely unlike herself. And she's freaking out a bit. A lot.]

I. You. You need to -

- I don't know, I know there isn't anything, I -

- you need to do something. Help me - kill me - I don't care, I am not doing this again, I can't, I won't -

[There's a screech of static and the line cuts out.]

[OOC: What's going on here? She's suffering two death tolls at once - being decapitated by Buffy, and the horrible uber-Death Toll suffered by those who ventured into the engine room during the Dead In The Water event last year. Which was so bad that she pretty much committed suicide-by-Joker for the sake of a hard reset. It didn't work. I....needed to break out the big guns to get through her foot-thick layer of apathy. :V

Edit: As of a couple of days after this has been posted, it and all replies to it have been retroactively made private. People who replied to it can still see it, but nobody else.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[She's...not exactly looking at him but she cracks a sardonic little smile anyway. It fades after a moment.]

I took over the world one time. Kinda. That's...what I didn't want you to see in my file.

[Oh if he wasn't looking before, he is now.]

You what?

[She raises her hands.]

Kinda. Technically it never happened. Apparently my future self talked me into using some time travel gizmo of Drakken's to go into the past so I could take over the present or - something. I don't even remember it, I only know about it at all because it was in my file.

Edited 2011-10-20 23:37 (UTC)

...Parallel universe? [He did not think things got that complex in her world. Jesus Christ.] If it didn't actually happen-- [No, he knows the answer, he doesn't have to ask. It's already nestled in his head that she's capable of taking over the world. Lol like him. :c]

It's not like I would have held it against you.

Alternate timeline, I guess. Possible or her boytoy smashed the gizmo and it pretty much undid everything anybody had used it for.

[She smiles thinly when he says he wouldn't have held it against her.]

It wasn't even about my file. You know that, right? I didn't learn anything about you that day I didn't know already.

[He couldn't decide if he wanted to meet that Shego, or avoid her at all costs, but he was leaning toward the former. He'd rather know exactly what he was dealing with.]

Yeah. [He flexes his hands a little, cracking his knuckles, and tilts his head back to smile wanly up at the creepy stars.]

When I was home, I had this thing, with another girl. She found out about the costume in a kind of terrible way, but she knew, and she kept my secret. I thought we'd have a good thing. [He glances at her again, then shrugs.] Then I did something, and it fell apart.

I'm not going to change. [Which is kind of sad. :\]

[Shego's quiet for a long time, staring into middle distance. She feels almost delirious with exhaustion and the adrenaline crash. The words are just kind of there.]

I got really good at running away from stuff when I was younger. My job, the team, my hometown...the whole thing started turning into this arc, this path my life was gonna follow, and it was...too much. So many people were going to depend on me, and I hadn't signed up for that level of commitment, y'know? I didn't want anybody needing me. I didn't want anybody getting the idea that I needed them.

[She chuckles harshly.]

So when I started working for Drakken I thought it'd be a stepping stone. A few weeks - couple months, max. Then I'd move on before he got any crazy ideas about relying on me. But - no. He was perfect. He was going to spend his entire life failing - he would never change and I would never feel challenged. Even when he did start relying on me, that was okay, because I never needed him. I could just...break faces for cash and run in place for as long as I wanted.

I'd say something about how running in place gets boring, but...[But she'd apparently realized that at some point in an alternate timeline, since she'd taken over the world and all.] I really wish I had a 'This is the Right Thing to Say' moment right about now.

[She made a little amused noise.]

My point is, apparently we're both awesome at keeping people at arm's length. We're both messed up and we both expect too much. But you know what?

[She throws up her arms in an 'I give up' gesture.]

I still like you. And I miss you.

[Oh God what do who does h ask for advice wait there is no time for advice.]

So do I. But where does that leave us?

[Deep breath. If she's going to be a cougar then obviously that means she has to be the grown-up with the smart ideas here.]

Where we were before this started. We're still friends. And if we ever decide that we're going to be more than that, then...we go into it knowing where our boundaries are.

[Tim's silent for a long moment, then he puts his hand on his knee like he's getting ready to stand, and looks at her.]

Those boundaries better include worrying about you when crap like this happens.

[She closes her eyes and half-smiles lazily.]

Yeah, I guess you can do that.

Good. [Aaand he stands, turning to hold out a hand to her.] Any chance I can get you to promise to talk to me before you do anything stupid? [Though he hopes this won't last long. :\]

[She grabs his hand but doesn't really use it while hauling herself up.]

If I'm doing it, I probably won't realize it's stupid until after I've done it.

...Then how about you don't do anything until this is over.

Now you're pushing it. Trust me to deal with my own life and get help if I need it. Okay?

[He really wants to argue that he did that last time and she let the Joker kill her. But tentative truces do not need those things pointed out.]

Okay.

89 - Voice

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