"For what it's worth? I think having it actually helped."
She closed her eyes, relaxing marginally.
"After I started work in the engine room, I started drawing up a schematic of the engine. The Wardens wouldn't actually let me look at theirs, so it was a bit-by-bit kinda thing. I just paid attention. Every couple days I'd ask Harper what something did, and so long as I was wearing a tight shirt and sounded bored enough, I don't think he realized I was memorizing the answers. And then I was working in the library overnight, working out how I could use the engineering structure to reach the controls on the bridge. Forty-eight hours would have been more than the time I'd have needed to spend cutting through the walls. After I got to the bridge I could have repaired the damage, emptied out my cabin. Nobody would have known any different - just another spontaneous disappearance, right?
"By the time October happened, I had my plans ready to go. I could have taken control and nobody would have known about it. Then all I would've needed to do was find a halfway decent world, make port, vanish. Then November happened, and..."
She opened her eyes, glancing over at him.
"Then I realized I didn't want to any more. It wasn't a hypothetical decision. I had everything ready to go. And I didn't."
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She closed her eyes, relaxing marginally.
"After I started work in the engine room, I started drawing up a schematic of the engine. The Wardens wouldn't actually let me look at theirs, so it was a bit-by-bit kinda thing. I just paid attention. Every couple days I'd ask Harper what something did, and so long as I was wearing a tight shirt and sounded bored enough, I don't think he realized I was memorizing the answers. And then I was working in the library overnight, working out how I could use the engineering structure to reach the controls on the bridge. Forty-eight hours would have been more than the time I'd have needed to spend cutting through the walls. After I got to the bridge I could have repaired the damage, emptied out my cabin. Nobody would have known any different - just another spontaneous disappearance, right?
"By the time October happened, I had my plans ready to go. I could have taken control and nobody would have known about it. Then all I would've needed to do was find a halfway decent world, make port, vanish. Then November happened, and..."
She opened her eyes, glancing over at him.
"Then I realized I didn't want to any more. It wasn't a hypothetical decision. I had everything ready to go. And I didn't."