gotgreenmagic

[Private to Kirk, slightly backdated]

[Hego's sitting at Shego's desk, hands folded, expression friendly but not too friendly.]

Now, Mr. Kirk -

- Captain? -

Jim. I'm given to understanding that you're dating my little sister. And I couldn't be happier for the two of you! As far as I knew she never had a date in high school or college, or after she graduated, so don't get me wrong, I think this is a wonderful development. Even cranky, contrary smartmouths need love in their lives and it's just super that she's found it here.

But.

I know Shego seems like she doesn't care about anything. Like she can't be hurt, or heartbroken - and I may not notice some things, but I know she works pretty darn hard to give that impression. But that's all it is. An impression. And deep down she's just as human as anybody else, you hear?

So now I'm trusting you to treat her nice. I know it can be...difficult, sometimes, but I'm relying on you to treat her with the respect she deserves. But if you don't, and I get to hear about it...

Well. You'll be hearing from me again, son. Team Go looks out for their own, understand? And as much as I don't want to, I'll -

[The flood ends, leaving Shego in the same bedhair and camisole that she was in when the thing started. She blinks, looking startled and disoriented for a few moments, then just leans over and smacks the communicator to switch it off.]

[Public, voice]

Anyone who met my brother --

No, you know what? I don't care. I'm done with attempting damage limitation here. You met him, great. Enjoy that insight into why I wound up a supervillain.

Regina, you awake?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It doesn't even matter. Even if she was a lesbian and was stalking you, that still wouldn't give you the right to do everything you could to make sure she was totally humiliated.

It wasn't like it was revenge! Hello, I was just saying, um, probably she shouldn't be coming to a pool party if she was gonna be eyebanging all my friends? How embarrassing would that be for me?

Okay. Let's assume that a totally theoretical, non-Janis lesbian went to your pool party.

What is it about being gay that you think makes a person completely unable to control themselves around people they find attractive?

Heck, what is it about being gay that you think strips a person of individual taste? I'm assuming you, as a straight woman, are attracted to some people and not others for reasons more nuanced than them being male.

[She rolls her eyes at first, but as Shego goes on, she seems to be listening. Slowly, a look of comprehension dawns.] Oh.

'Oh', what?

[She drops her voice to a near-whisper.] Shego... are you a lesbian?

It's okay-- [--no it's not--] --you can tell me. I won't freak out. [Yes, she will.]

Did we not preclude that possibility with the fact I'm dating Jim Kirk?

Those questions weren't rhetorical, by the way. I'm waiting.

Yeah, but he's your... [WTF is a lesbian beard? Probably still a--] ...beard, right?

Still waiting, and right now you are so far from getting your room fixed that you're actually closer to me asking to make it worse.

[Have an indignant squeak.] What!?

You heard me.

Look, if you don't actually have an answer beyond 'I think gay people are icky but I don't actually know why', fine, but at least admit to that so I know what I've got to work with here.

Oh my God, Shego, you fucking suck. [Someone is frantically rewinding the conversation, because she wasn't even listening to the question.]

...How am I supposed to even answer this? Fine: I know she was into me, at least, and I didn't want her totally embarrassing the shit out of me because her stalker crap was embarrassing enough as it was. Does that work? [Probably not, no.] I don't... hate gay people, or whatever.

You didn't know. Being overly invested in somebody is not the same as having a crush on them, and even if it was -

Ugh. Whatever. It's not like you listen to a word I say anyway.

[She puts in a request to the Admiral, and a few minutes later everything that Janis actually destroyed has been replaced - but everything that can be cleaned (regardless of how much effort it'll take) is still as it was.]

If you're not back at work tomorrow we're gonna have a problem.

[Regina is not feeling appreciative (when is she ever?)! There's another ungrateful squeak, and then she hangs up angrily. Ugh, cleaning. Ugh, being forced to write about Shego in the burn book.]

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