gotgreenmagic

Quite ~~painfully~~ sober.

What is it, were you disappointed with the ending of Jane Eyre? I can't do much about that.

Not so much.

Pretty much the entirety of Starfleet just disappeared into a copy of Alice in Wonderland. I think. ~~No way am I touching it to check.~~

...

Look, can you come to the pub?

...Really? REALLY?

Fucking hell.

Can I ever? See you there in five. Get me some wine, will you? ~~mine is strangely gone~~

I'm sitting at a bar. There's a lot of it around.

Then pour me a glass, will you? C'mon, splashy splashy, hop to it. I'll bring my copy of Alice.

Like Shego knows anything about wine, but she digs out a bottle anyway and pours a glass for the alcoholic bibliophile - then another one for herself, because she's absolutely not getting through this sober.

The offending piece of literature is still on the bar and she's keeping at least a foot away from it at all times.

"You took your time," she snaps at the pub door when it opens. Worried? Noooo.

"Do you know how hard finding anything in my bookshop is?" He sighed and sat down at the bar, grabbing the glass of wine. He doesn't care how good it is, there's only two types of wine in his opinion - the ones which make you shudder and burn the back of your throat, and the sort you order eight bottles of.

"Pass me that, then. Let's see what's going off. Because if they're fucking with the storyline..."

"You're kidding, right?"

No, he's really not. She takes a fortifying gulp and then uses the glass to nudge the book in Bernard's general direction.

"They were right here, and -- "

And since she's not trying to work around it any more, she actually looks at it. And what was once a perfectly normal cover illustration now features, among other things, a picture of what is undeniably Captain Jim Kirk in a pretty blue dress and an apron.

Predictably enough, whatever she was about to say next gets lost in a fit of insane giggling.

Bernard looked over at the book when she burst out laughing and laughed himself, having a sip of his wine before taking the book off her, "Certainly a new definition of being lost in a good book." He was actually quite jealous and certain they would mess it up.

"They're totally going to make a mess of it. I bet I open it and the Mad Hatter's been shot with a phaser, and they're all pissing and moaning in the way of the actual damn dialog." He looked at the book for a moment, then wondered if he should open it. They could end up inside. But he could still keep the story running inside the book. He opened it, flicking quickly to the beginning of the book. Most of that seemed in tact, then he reached a point where the dialog went off entirely and...it was writing as he watched.

He stared, then thought about what he could do. He'd have to write ahead of them. Either that or find a way of telling them 'YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG'.

Shego rolled her eyes at him. "Simmer down, nerdlinger, it's just one book. Your other one's still okay, right?" And she couldn't remember much about Alice in Wonderland, beyond the fact that its author probably took a lot of drugs during his formative years, but it didn't show up in her recollection as the most coherent piece of literature to begin with.

She also faintly remembered some of the cast being threatened with execution. Shego sighed and pushed her glass away - needed a clear head, darn it - and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"Okay. This happened to me before I showed here. TV, not a book, but same completely whacked idea. They can't hear us talking, or...y'know, they'd say something." She gestured to the opened book, which hadn't acknowledged them in any way. "So if we can talk to them at all, there's gotta be some other way."

Bernard flicked open his book, checked the same page and nodded, "Still the same in here."

He glanced over at her incredulously, as why would anyone want to get stuck in TV? How does that happen? "Fair point. We could, I dunno, try writing in some dialogue and see what happens? I figure if it's written, it must appear in their...minds, whatever, something. If they can write the story from in there, we can probably write it from without. You know them, you try something?" As he was just tempted to write 'YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.' to them. He pushed the book and a pen towards her, "If they manage that, we can either tell them the proper storyline, or see if we can make stuff happen."

He was kind of hoping he could be the puppet master here. That would be fun.

"Whatever. Let's just see if this works already." She took the book and the pen, then put her attention to the page, on which her erstwhile drinking buddies were discussing...drugs and costuming issues, apparently.

...the Vulcan chick was the caterpillar? Seriously?

Shego pulled the cap off the pen with her teeth and put it to the margin. Sensible advice could wait 'til later and would probably come from Bernard before it ever came from her.

Keep the dress, Jimmy. The blue really brings out your eyes.

Bernard watched her and leant over to see what she was writing, then laughed a little, "Suits him, doesn't it?" He pulled the book back towards him, waiting to see what happened. "Let's hope they reply. If they don't, we can always try copying a bit of the actual dialog in and trying to force the story or something."

"Remind me to Xerox the cover a few times later." She drummed her fingers against the bar - then stopped abruptly when Jim's surprise came through loud and clear, or at least as loudly as the written word could express.

"....Oh this is priceless." She pushed the book and the pen in Bernard's direction. "Here, you try it."

Bernard smirked a little, "There must be a photocopier in the library. Leave lots of them lying around the place..." He trailed off, then picked up the pen and pulled the book over to him. "We could have so much fun with this."

He pondered for a second, then wrote back, "This is the outside world, speaking, Cap'n. Do me a favour and move the story along a little. Turn up to a damn teaparty or something and stop complaining about the dress. It looks lovely" Bernard didn't know how the underlining would come across to them, but it might be worth trying.

Nick walked into the pub, book in his hand. He looked from Bernard to Shego, eyes lingering a bit longer on her than him. "Right. Which one of you did I talk to?" After a brief pause, Nick placed a copy of Little Red Riding Hood on the bar while he went behind it to pour himself a drink.

"I found this lying around on the way here. It was outside someone's room-take a look at the cover." On the cover, instead of what was normally expected, there was Rose Tyler, looking rather confused and wearing a red cape. "I had a drink with that girl a while ago. Turns out there's more than one book." Nick picked up a glass and started looking for any sort of drink-preferably beer. They had to have some here, right?

Shego pointed mutely at Bernard, inspecting the new arrival with the same open suspicious she tended to use on all strangers. She'd seen his creepy-twin-with-half-a-face a couple times and she had to admit, if only to herself, that the more symmetrical look was a marked improvement.

"Lemme see that." She took the book and arched an eyebrow at the cover. Oh. The formerly-shrill-harpy-turned-fairly-reasonable-British-chick. "Rose Tyler. Doesn't this just keep getting better," she said flatly.

Bernard gave him a nod and sipped at his wine, but then turned to look at the book. "At least someone wasn't only after giving your Captain a taste of fiction and girl's dresses. Is that...a Grimm Red Riding Hood, or are we talking happy fluffy Disney version?"

This was starting to get beyond concern for just the narrative right now.

"Well you obviously don't like her that much," Nick said, smirking slightly at Shego. He grabbed a bottle of beer and looked it over. Great. Just what he wanted. He turned back to the others.

"Beats me," Nick said, pouring the drink into his glass. "Read the book?" he suggested, taking a sip. It was then that he noticed something odd about the copy of Alice In Wonderland. "Why'd you write in it?"

"His idea, but they can...hear it, see it, whatever." She tapped a finger against Jim's reaction to her initial harassment, followed by Uhura's more muted response.

"She's gonna get eaten by a wolf, I think. And I would read it, but the narrative is screwed up by her." He sipped at the wine and sighed, then after a quick look at his journal, yanked Alice in Wonderland back towards him, "Apparently, Sam and some woman called Annie are in here too." He started to flick through the pages until he came across something which looked distinctly unusual. "Found them!" Oh look. The White Knight and Queen.

He fished a pencil out of his pocket, in a gesture for Aziraphale, not that he'd notice, and scribbled quickly in the book. "Hello down there. This is the outside world. Try and keep the story going, yeah? Sam! Try and stay on that horse! Annie, you might end up a cat, but hopefully you won't get stuck that long." This was too much fun, in a twisted kind of way, instructing people around like this - which was how he was looking at it, even if he was really aiming to keep both the story and them sane.

"Someone write to Rose, will you?"

"I'll write to her," Nick said, grabbing a pen from his pocket. He tapped the pen to his chin for a moment, before scribbling in the margins of the book. "Hey, I think Red Riding Hood gets eaten. Don't let that happen." It was simple and to the point. It worked for him, hopefully it would work for Rose.

[Parker had dropped the bottle of vodka off in Bernard's room and then headed over to the pub, looking at the people assembled there and raising a brow. A part of her was irritated that she was actually helping these idiots, and another part had missed the chase. Trying to figure out where the rest of the books were and how to get people out of them interested her. Given the seeming gloating of the Master, Parker was sure that there were going to be at least a few more books around that would need readers for. A brief moment wondered if there would be Little Women, but she shoved it aside before she headed to where the rest of them were.]

Shego glanced over her shoulder as the door opened and lifted a hand in greeting to Parker.

"Hey. Joining the world's dumbest book club?"

Bernard had been busy re-directing Annie and Sam, then noticed Parker come in. He pushed the gin and tonic he'd acquired at some point towards her and nodded, "I thought it was the world's most ill intentioned rescue mission, but either way... hello."

"You can be in the world's dumbest book club," Nick said, pointing at Shego. "I like the plan of the world's most ill intentioned rescue mission." Nick smirked at Bernard as he took another sip of his beer.

"Nick Naylor, by the way," he said, smiling at Parker. "Grab a drink."

Ask away.

Okay. Lame but true: someone left a bunch of storybooks lying around with curses/magic/whatever. A bunch of people are now trapped inside said books. Like, as characters.

...Before I go on, you got any experience with magic literature?

Unfortunately.

Huh.

I'll just go ahead and make my point, then: my warden is stuck in one of these things. And I've got very little interest in him ever being able to leave.

Thoughts?

Burn the book?

Figured that might just kill him. That's no good to me, he'll just bounce back and be a smug jackass about it.

So take the book and hide it somewhere.

I guess. This whole magic bit is so not my area.

I would have to examine the book more closely to tell you much more.

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