gotgreenmagic | 98

[There was still something subtly 'off' about waking up in Kirk's room while not hungover or death tolling or recovering from an especially traumatic flood - and about waking up in Kirk's bed while the man himself was actually in it and not asleep on the couch.

Shego stared blearily at his back for a few moments. Vaguely, it occurred to her that it was Christmas morning, although after it had been spring in Gotham and God-only-knew-when on the Enterprise, her perception of time was still kind of distorted. It wasn't as if the date and time didn't feel completely arbitrary on the Barge anyway. (And she identified more as a Scrooge than a Grinch - she didn't actively hate Christmas, she just didn't care about it, and she wasn't invested in making anybody else's easier for them either.)

She slid out from under the sheets and stumbled off towards the bathroom, noticing on the way that 'Santa' had not graced Kirk's cabin with his presence in any noticeable way. Maybe he just hadn't shown up on time to get included in anybody's lists, or - like her - they hadn't decided whether they hated him yet. Although she was probably unique in that she was sleeping with him while that was still a topic under debate.]

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"Do I really," she drawled. "You're tolerable on a good day. Maybe if you'd ever attempted to actually charm me."

"Sorry I was confused by the fact that you're in my bed right now," Jim grinned at her as he leaned over her. "I think I deserve more than tolerable."

She laughed. "Oh, we're fishing for compliments now? That is so not charming." She gave an unnecessarily long pause for thought. "How about 'satisfactory'?"

Kirk laughed. "You're a real charmer yourself. You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to be and you know it."

"Yeah, you got me. I'll just keep coming back because I'm totally in love with you."

"Knew it," Jim answered, but he was completely joking. "You're welcome any time you want. For the record."

"Any time, huh." She arched an eyebrow. "Are you gonna hang a tie on your door when you've got other company? Because otherwise that might get awkward."

She'd been joking at the start of that question but by the end of it, she was beset by the unpleasant realisation that it might be a legitimate concern.

"I would probably lock the door for once," Jim pointed out. "But I feel like this isn't a problem right now."

She knew it would have been naive to expect anything else, but fidelity by way of a lack of other options was probably the worst kind.

"And when it is, I'll just start spreading rumors about all your gross space diseases," she said lightly.

Probably was but he hadn't ever exactly been the best at fidelity period. But now the conversation made him pause a little and look at her curiously.

"You want my tolerable and satisfactory self all to yourself then?"

Shego frowned and broke eye contact. "Kinda. Yes - no." She pulled a face. "It's complicated, okay?"

Yeah kinda sounded complicated. "What's going on?"

She fidgeted with a lock of hair for a moment.

"Look, I - understand - that you're not gonna be breaking the habit of a lifetime for me or anybody else. I can even accept that. But I can't like it. That's all."

Jim didn't answer immeediately, having a tiny moment of flashback to the last time he'd had this conversation with someone and that had been Bones and that just turned out well for everyone involved and even some people who weren't.

"Do you want to actually be something, Shego?" As in, more than just friends with benefits or whatever you called former warden and inmate.

She gave the question enough respect to be quiet for a few moments. 'Being something' had not, historically, worked out well for her - although her problem with Tim had been wilful blindness on her part. Going into a relationship knowing about somebody's flaws and weaknesses while having no way to resolve them - was that better?

"I...I don't know. Maybe."

It hadn't really ever worked out well for Jim either. Though perhaps it was in her favor that if things went bad, he'd have to deal with it now instead of having the option to run or it would be completely hideous but that was just Kirk anyway.

"Why don't you think on it and get back to me then?"

She sighed softly. This was Kirk; she should have known the rules by now. No ambiguity, nothing left to interpretation, no long words.

"'Maybe' in this context means 'yes, I'm just worried about what you'll think about it', Jim."

Yeah small words was a good idea with Kirk, especially when it came to his feelings.

""I don't... know what I think. You know I care about you and don't even try to pretend like you haven't wormed your way into my affections but I'm shit at being in a relationship, you watched that trainwreck the last time."

Edited 2011-12-30 05:28 (UTC)

"Like I'm better." And she'd only ever really spoken to Kirk about Tim when things were going wrong, so she couldn't imagine what his assessment of that relationship would be.

She drew in a long breath. "I'm just...I'm saying we could give it a shot. And if it's not working after a few months or whenever, then we can just work out something that will."

Well, there was something wrong if Shego was attempting to be more mature and risk taking about this then he was. Maybe he just didn't get why he ever had to have conversations like this anyway, if he had a problem with something he'd say it, otherwise it was pretty safe to assume that he was satisfied with whatever was happening.

"You can't bitch when I don't bring you anywhere nice," Jim said after a pause.

She's had invaluable practice gained while being a cougar, Kirk.

"That's fair." She nudged him with her shoulder. "Not like anybody could expect you to manage that anyway."

Edited 2011-12-30 15:56 (UTC)

"Just making sure you keep the bar low," Jim answered, nudging her back. And don't compare him to Tim, that's just mean.

"No worries, Cap'n. You've already spent the last two years destroying whatever expectations I might possibly have had."

Kirk laughed a little at that. "Guess I won't have to worry about you making my ego worse."

She smirked. "I don't think anything can make your ego worse at this point, Jim."

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