gotgreenmagic | 103

103 - Voice

[24 hours after death-by-Kirk, Shego sounds....Death Toll-y. Her voice is scratchy and muted like she's recently had her throat cut, because....she has.]

I guess that's one way to get back on board early.

[She laughs hoarsely, but it's a 'if I don't laugh I'll cry or possibly throw up' laugh.]

Feels like I still have my heart. And my skin. I guess you guys lose.

[A pause, like she's making an effort to remember something important.]

Check in, guys. [Screw you she's not doing a friends filter.] Has anybody heard from Cissie during all this?

[OOC: Forward-dated to shortly before the end of port. Open to Infirmary spam since she's not going anywhere for the next day or two at least :c]

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[Son of a bitch why did he not go down there oh god he is heading right to the infirmary because ffff. :c]

Hey.

Hey. [She undertakes the monumental effort to sit a little straighter on the bed.] Pardon me for not getting up.

[Tim just tugs over a chair and sits. Stop trying to sit up, you look miserable. :c] What happened?

[She is miserable. :C]

...Jim and I killed each other. He'd fallen overboard, hunted me down, I shot him, he threw a knife at me before he checked out. That's what happened.

[Yeah that is the worst news, and at first, he barely reacts. It was obvious she'd died, but. Jesus Christ, he can imagine worse ways to go, but not many.] Fuck.

[Tim lifts his head, looking around for Kirk and - oh hey, right next door. Awesome. He hesitates, then reaches for her hand.] You okay?

Edited 2012-02-27 23:01 (UTC)

[She doesn't really respond to that, but she doesn't withdraw her hand when he takes it, either.]

No.

[Maybe in a day or so she would have been up for lying, but not now. Like he'd believe her anyway.]

...I know I'm selfish. [Her voice is flat.] Ninety per cent of everybody else here? I might be over it already.

Edited 2012-02-28 19:28 (UTC)

[He wouldn't have believed anything else, really. He's just worried that this will dissolve into 'Shego can't sleep, Shego starts thinking picking fights with murderous inmates is a good thing' again.]

I wouldn't be. [And what the hell, Shego.] How does this make you selfish, exactly?

Edited 2012-02-28 19:31 (UTC)

[She half-shrugs.]

I think you're meant to care about killing someone no matter who it is.

I'm still not sure how that makes you selfish. [He is so glad he didn't get off the boat, but he is hating himself for not going.] Did you see Amber at all?

'If it's my boyfriend's life it's more important'? I think maybe that's a little off-message. [She rubs at her temple.] No. Not that I was looking or anything.

[And that would be Tim dropping her hand and straightening up and looking over to where Kirk's sleeping.]

Your boyfriend.

[She really has to learn to either control her brain-to-mouth filter or not talk to people while death tolling.]

...yeah. That...happened.

Apparently. [He's trying so hard not to sound bitter, but it's so hard. So instead of shoving his foot in his mouth, he presses his lips together and sits back in his chair, silent for a long moment.]

When? No-- [this isn't the time, not while she's death tolling. Though he's tempted to use the lack of brain-mouth filter while it's here, that wouldn't be right. Or fair. (What part of this is fair.)] Never mind. [He runs a hand over his face, looking away.] Do you want me to go?

No.

[She glances at Kirk, who she's fairly sure is actually asleep and not just faking it.]

...it was two months ago. Christmas. Tim, if there's anything you wanna say...

[Shego is not a big fan of waiting for things to calm down before having these sorts of confrontations because really. The calm periods are to be revelled in, not saved for interpersonal conflict.]

No. [He wanted to bottle this away and never think about it again. Never think about them again, never think about her. He even stood, shifted his weight as if to walk away - and then sat down again. Fuck you, Barge growth, fuck you forever.]

Why didn't you tell me?

[There's a lot that comes to mind, not least 'because you would have done what you're doing right now' and 'since when did I have to keep you updated on my love life' but eventually she just exhales slowly.]

I don't know, Tim. I didn't tell anybody, I didn't - feel the need to make a big announcement about it. What was I supposed to say?

You were suppose to tell me that any shot of us getting back together was gone! [Weren't they just flirting, a little, sort of? Maybe he just completely misread everything.] Just - forget it. I don't want to know anymore.

[He wants to tell her she IS selfish, but that's not fair, either, so he just presses his lips together again.] Are you in any pain? I could get you something.

[She practically feels ready to explode under the pressure of everything she wants to say - that he had months to say something if he'd wanted to give it another shot, that it wasn't unreasonable of her to think he'd decided to move on, and where the hell did he get off thinking she was somehow reserved until he'd made up his mind - but partly out of respect to her throat and partly because she doesn't feel like destroying what's left of their friendship in a barrage of misaimed rage, she doesn't say any of that.]

No. I - I'm okay.

[Some part of him knows he's just managed to make it worse, and he wishes he hadn't said anything. He even wishes he could go back to not knowing, to holding her hand and being worried and not feeling some absurd, furious jealousy toward Jim Kirk.

He leans forward again, but he doesn't take her hand, locking his own together between his knees instead.] I'm sorry. [Mostly about port. He wouldn't mind her thinking he's apologizing for his reaction, because he isn't ready to say it outright, and won't be for a while.] I can just hang here, if you want.

[She doesn't think for a second that he's apologizing for anything he just said. Right now she can't even tell if she deserves an apology; she sure as hell feels like she's been wronged but that could just be the pain talking.]

It's okay. I'm gonna get some more sleep. [A beat.] Thanks for coming to see me, though.

[He nods, silent until he can make himself smile.] Like I would ever not come.

[Standing, he can't help but glance Kirk's way again before looking down at Shego again.] Yell if you need anything.

[Yeah, she doesn't miss that glance. Suck it up, Tim.]

If I was in a position to yell I don't think I'd be here. [She offers a lopsided smile.] I'll see you later, okay?

[He's working on it. :c] You know what I mean. [But he nods, and moves the chair back to its place.]

Feel better.

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103 - Voice

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