103 - Voice

[gotgreenmagic]

[24 hours after death-by-Kirk, Shego sounds....Death Toll-y. Her voice is scratchy and muted like she's recently had her throat cut, because....she has.]

I guess that's one way to get back on board early.

[She laughs hoarsely, but it's a 'if I don't laugh I'll cry or possibly throw up' laugh.]

Feels like I still have my heart. And my skin. I guess you guys lose.

[A pause, like she's making an effort to remember something important.]

Check in, guys.  [Screw you she's not doing a friends filter.]  Has anybody heard from Cissie during all this?

[OOC: Forward-dated to shortly before the end of port.  Open to Infirmary spam since she's not going anywhere for the next day or two at least :c]

Comments

[Spam :|]

[peektuttut]

[Son of a bitch why did he not go down there oh god he is heading right to the infirmary because ffff. :c]

Hey.

spammm

[gotgreenmagic]

Hey. [She undertakes the monumental effort to sit a little straighter on the bed.] Pardon me for not getting up.

Re: spammm

[peektuttut]

[Tim just tugs over a chair and sits. Stop trying to sit up, you look miserable. :c] What happened?

Re: spammm

[gotgreenmagic]

[She is miserable. :C]

...Jim and I killed each other. He'd fallen overboard, hunted me down, I shot him, he threw a knife at me before he checked out. That's what happened.

Re: spammm

[peektuttut]

[Yeah that is the worst news, and at first, he barely reacts. It was obvious she'd died, but. Jesus Christ, he can imagine worse ways to go, but not many.] Fuck.

[Tim lifts his head, looking around for Kirk and - oh hey, right next door. Awesome. He hesitates, then reaches for her hand.] You okay?

spammm

[gotgreenmagic]

[She doesn't really respond to that, but she doesn't withdraw her hand when he takes it, either.]

No.

[Maybe in a day or so she would have been up for lying, but not now. Like he'd believe her anyway.]

...I know I'm selfish. [Her voice is flat.] Ninety per cent of everybody else here? I might be over it already.

spammm

[peektuttut]

[He wouldn't have believed anything else, really. He's just worried that this will dissolve into 'Shego can't sleep, Shego starts thinking picking fights with murderous inmates is a good thing' again.]

I wouldn't be. [And what the hell, Shego.] How does this make you selfish, exactly?

spammm

[gotgreenmagic]

[She half-shrugs.]

I think you're meant to care about killing someone no matter who it is.

spammm

[peektuttut]

I'm still not sure how that makes you selfish. [He is so glad he didn't get off the boat, but he is hating himself for not going.] Did you see Amber at all?

also spam cause that's what i do, I spam you

[captain_jtkirk]

[Kirk ended up in the bed next to her, probably because they died in a one-two punch of hideousness. He spent a great deal of time pretending to be asleep while curled on his side with his back to her because if he was being honest, the last few days were just about the limit of everything that he could handle. Turning into that kind of murdering monster who did it for fun was one thing. Actually succeeding in killing Shego and dying himself, (which was just too similar to how he ended up back on the Barge, though it was with bullets and not with phaser fire) was pushing him right up to the edge of not dealing with anything ever.

It was late at night when he finally pulled his shit together enough to move onto his back and somewhat face her. Part of him was hoping that she was asleep.]

"I'm sorry."

you mean you spam me and I love you for it

[gotgreenmagic]

Shego had spent the whole time rigidly staring at the far wall with her back to Kirk while trying not to acknowledge that he was there because then she had to run the risk of talking to him.

Maybe she'd been asleep for some of it. She felt so shitty it was hard to tell. Either way, she heard him when he spoke and hesitated for several seconds before expending the energy to roll over and face him.

"It wasn't you." Her voice sounded awful. It vaguely occurred to her that four out of her five Death Tolls had been neck or repiratory-based and people really needed to stop going for her throat already.

"...I'm sorry too."

/abuses forever

[captain_jtkirk]

The horrible thing was that if he spent more than five minutes thinking about it, he'd start drawing parallels between himself and the port version of himself and he never came away unconvinced that he'd turn into that kind of person if he'd grown up in a society like that.

"For what? Defending yourself?"

[gotgreenmagic]

"Yes, Jim. For defending myself." She coughed raggedly. "If you're allowed to apologize then so am I, okay?"

Usually she'd be more insistent that he didn't need to be sorry for anything he did while assimilated into a port or under the influence of a flood and that she didn't want to hear him say he was sorry, but...she hurt too much for that. And as much as she hated it, it was normalizing to hear that he was him again and killing her was something he would be sorry for.

[captain_jtkirk]

No, it was not okay because he'd deserved it, and she hadn't because it was just self defense for her and he was just being a brain washed dick.

"Just saying you have less to apologize for."

[gotgreenmagic]

That kind of hit the exact button that got her mad during these kinds of conversations.

"You didn't do anything," she said, and her voice was embarrassingly strained. "You don't have anything to apologize for. It wasn't you, it wasn't your choice, Jim. You weren't even there, you just remember someone who was."

She swallowed dryly.

"Don't tell me what I've got to apologize for."

[captain_jtkirk]

Wow, he just did not have the mental energy to fight with her right now. There should be IVs of straight whiskey in this Infirmary because this was just shitty.

"Fine, I wasn't there. So you didn't do anything to me. And then I don't need an apology. Let's just take them back."

[gotgreenmagic]

She would have argued that he was going through the Death Toll right now and that was something she'd done to him, but every word felt like it was rubbing her throat with an industrial sander and she wasn't going to waste them on semantics.

"Fine," she said. It was the quietest, least fine 'fine' ever produced by a human being.

[Public -> Spam] /LATEST

[cisskabob]

I'm here. What-never mind, hang on.

[And Cissie doesn't even bother with the rest of that message, she just books it to the infirmary to look for Shego. She doesn't want to wake her, but... she really wants to wake her.]

...Shego?

[Spam] <3

[gotgreenmagic]

[She hasn't really been sleeping at all, just dozing when the pain subsides enough to allow it, and all she's doing when she hears her name is lying awake with her eyes closed. She smiles when she sees Cissie; she doesn't look post-port stressed, which can only be a good thing.]

Hey, Ciss.

[Spam] <3!

[cisskabob]

Hi, [she says, relieved. Shego sounds terrible, and looks--well, like someone death tolling. Cissie pulls a chair up to sit next to her, grabbing her hand; what she really wants is to hug her, but that seems like a bad idea, so she'll settle for hand-holding at the moment.] What the hell's going on down there?

[Spam] <3!

[gotgreenmagic]

The short version? [Her throat sounds like the short version is all she's good for right now.] Maybe half of everyone at port went overboard. They're repo men, only what they're repossessing is artificial internal organs. [She takes a deep breath.] That's what the other half have got waiting.

[Spam] <3!

[cisskabob]

[Cissie shoves a hand through her hair, more disturbed than she wants to let on. She'd seen some of the chatter on the network, but really hadn't been paying nearly enough attention. She looked around briefly and stood up.] Hang on, I'll be right back.

[She left, and returned a minute later with a pad of paper and a pen, offering them to Shego.] Sounds like you could use this. Obviously you aren't okay, but... are you okay?

[Spam] <3!

[gotgreenmagic]

[She takes the pen and pad but doesn't use them. Maybe later. She took a while to resort to that during her last death toll, and she'd actually been beheaded that time.]

I'm... [Inevitably, her eyes flicker over to Kirk, who's either asleep or pretending to sleep in the next bed over.]

...I don't know. I'll be fine, I guess.

[Spam] <3!

[cisskabob]

[Cissie frowns a little, because talking sounds painful, but she's distracted by the look behind her. She glances over and realizes who Shego's looking at. Crap. She looks back at Shego, frowning slightly.]

Which means you aren't fine now. Well...okay, clearly. But what is it?

[Spam]

[gotgreenmagic]

[She hesitates for a moment. Cissie has become one of those people she finds very difficult to not tell stuff to. (There's a term for that. 'Friend'?)]

Kirk and I killed each other. So that's. Different.