105 - Video

[gotgreenmagic]

[Video! Shego's decidedly male today and wearing an expression that says she's refusing to acknowledge it because seriously, how many times is she going to turn into a dude while she's here.  Answer: more than twice, apparently.]

Regina, if you have male genitalia right now, I sincerely doubt it's anything you haven't seen before so just dig out your least fitted clothes and deal with it until it's over.

...seriously, if you're affected you're not excused from -- anything, but I'll let you use my shower so you don't have an existential crisis when you need to choose which set of Inmate bathrooms to use.

Oh, and if anyone needs to borrow a bra, feel free to ask anybody except me.

[Private to Mozenrath]

Affected?  Actually -- just respond with voice or video so I can work it out myself.  [Yeah she remembers how well you didn't take this last time.]

[Warden Filter]

As a matter of - business? I guess? - if Regina George asks anybody for access to the warden areas, say no. If she says her Warden says it's okay, ignore her.  Her Warden is here right now telling you it is not okay.

[Private to Chromie - backdated pre-flood]

Got space for an Inmate in the library? She doesn't wanna work, but my caring-about-that-at-all-ometer is at critically low levels.  I'll keep an eye on her starting out.

[OOC: I am open for any of the more affected characters to be all 'what's your problem, you've always been a confusingly named man :|a']

Comments

Spam - i love that you can add a reason :c

[captain_jtkirk]

"I figure it'd be hard to explain it to someone like Dick, or Bones." He took a seat on the edge of the bed while waiting for her and then started to scoot when he saw her.

Spam - c:

[gotgreenmagic]

"Just tell them one of your many conquests left it here. They'd buy that. At least, I doubt they'd ask any questions." She squeezed a generous amount of lotion onto one pslm, letting it warm up in her hand.

Spam

[captain_jtkirk]

"Bones might. And I still don't understand how anyone can decide what a sunset smells like." It was maybe less about how much better he was doing and more of a testament to how little Jim cared about bare skin showing when he pulled off his shirt without any sign of hesitation, before moving to lie down.

Spam

[gotgreenmagic]

Shego dithered for a moment and then knelt at his side rather than straddle his legs; she rubbed her hands together for a few moments before sliding them over his back. This was all registering as faintly surreal (although not by Barge standards) but if he was okay with it then she was as well. At least she'd know about it immediately if he tensed up.

"Maybe it's a market research thing. Like, 'smell this and tell us what it reminds you of'."

Spam

[captain_jtkirk]

Kirk didn't flinch or anything but he was already so tense that there were probably not any muscles left to contract anyway. "There's literally enough places to find a great sunset that that's just silly. It doesn't have to be on a beach."

Spam

[gotgreenmagic]

She frowned at the obvious tension and moved to his shoulders, kneading carefully. Fortunately her male body had short, blunt (but still perfectly manicured) nails.

"You're the one bringing up beaches. Have you been reading the bottles now?"

Spam

[captain_jtkirk]

"If I had to name the scent? It's tropical. Which I assume is meant to relate to beaches."

Spam

[gotgreenmagic]

"Oh please. It's barely tropical. If it was meant to relate to a beach it'd be some gross pina-colada-smelling thing. But, I don't think anybody's gonna be calling you into a focus group any time soon." She ran the flats of her hands up the length of his back and over his shoulders.

Re: Spam

[captain_jtkirk]

Kirk relaxed just a little bit, because the massage was actually nice and non threatening in any emotional way. "I'd be more disturbed if there were focus groups on the Barge in the first place."

Spam

[gotgreenmagic]

"Sounds like something the Admiral would pull for laughs in a slow month. 'Please rate your experience so far as a) bewildering, b) horrible, c) soul-melting. Please enter in the space below any ways to make your stay less hideously unpleasant that the management can then laugh at and ignore.'"

Spam

[captain_jtkirk]

Jim laughed a little bit. "Can we write in our own options? I feel like mine was a little of soul melting with some emotional murder and a severe drinking problem."

Re: Spam

[gotgreenmagic]

She laughed under her breath. "Yeah, you never touched a drop before you showed up here, right? You were practically a monk before the Barge ruined you."

Spam

[captain_jtkirk]

"I was half a virgin before I came here too," Kirk answered, turning his head slightly to look at her.

Spam

[gotgreenmagic]

It took her a moment to work out what that could possibly mean and she just made a face at him.

"I hadn't even gotten to second base before I came here, I win." She paused, sliding her hands down to the dip of his back if he was so intent on twisting his neck. "Actually I'm not sure I made it all the way to first base."

Spam

[captain_jtkirk]

It'd been a joke anyway. There wasn't really anything that he'd done here that he hadn't done at home. Besides sex as a woman but that was kind of a special case.

"Fixed that problem for you."

Spam

[gotgreenmagic]

"Technically Rayne did. Floods do not count."

Spam

[captain_jtkirk]

"You remember it, it counts."

Spam

[gotgreenmagic]

"No, it doesn't," she said in a if-this-conversation-continues-it's-going-to-turn-into-an-argument tone. "Anyway, it wasn't a problem."

Spam

[captain_jtkirk]

"I know. Being a supervillain leaves no room for dating or otherwise."

Spam

[gotgreenmagic]

"Honestly it kinda did. More like being me didn't leave a whole lot of opportunity." She shrugged. "I was never all that interested anyway."

Spam

[captain_jtkirk]

"Clearly you were missing out."

Spam

[gotgreenmagic]

Another shrug and she started circling her hands around his midsection, below his shoulders. "Enh, it's not like I knew any better. I didn't even - not really," she said, skipping the verb deliberately. "Hard to know you're missing out on something you don't really know about."

Spam

[captain_jtkirk]

Kirk relaxed a little bit more, and snorted. "You take your new bits for a test drive yet?"

Spam

[gotgreenmagic]

Inconceivably, she actually blushed. "Uh, no."

Spam

[captain_jtkirk]

Jim snorted. He couldn't actually see the blush from where he was lying, and that was probably more for her benefit than his. "... I think I'm okay with helping if you wanted to."