gotgreenmagic | 80

80 - Video

[She sets her communicator down and returns to what she's doing, i.e. painting her nails with black polish.]

Well, that easily made my top five 'dumbest floods ever' and I've been here nearly two years.

If you're new, woo hoo. Either you're dead and you're stuck here, or you're alive and you've just made a really stupid decision. Welcome to the Barge.

[Private to Kirk]

In the spirit of your stupid honesty rule, I punched Mozenrath and in the circumstances, I'm not sorry - I was affected, anyway, so it wasn't really me. On a directly relevant note, do you have any particularly strong future space liquor?

[Private to Mozenrath]

I hope I didn't actually fracture anything, but I'm not apologizing. Let's just draw a curtain over the last couple days and get on with our lives.

[Private to Tim]

If anybody besides Kirk asks, I wasn't affected.

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[Fuck you, James.]

Best news I've heard in months. Where are we doing this?

I'm not taking you to the pub, so your room or mine.

[Well she's not dumb enough to get puke-inducingly drunk around her own furniture, so.]

I'll be right over.

[If she puked on his stuff, he was going to steal hers to replace it. Fair warning. But he let her in all the same, gesturing that she find her own seat. His stash was on his desk. She could go ahead and pick which one she wanted to start with.]

She grabbed a bottle without looking at it, collapsed on his couch, opened it and took a slug. Turned out to be some sort of whiskey and it felt like it was punching her in the throat all the way down. Good.

"I don't care what quantum physics says. There is no alternate universe where that would happen. It does not exist."

Jim had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. It was funny in a sick sort of way. But he just had to think about wanting to sleep with Nero or Spock and that killed any desire to laugh at her. To her face anyway. He'd already laughed before she got there.

He took his time with pouring himself a drink, a rich old scotch on the rocks that he favored, before sitting in his desk chair.

"It does now. The Admiral made it exist."

"Then I hate him. And I hate you. I hate everything."

She took another gulp.

"What about you, anyway. Affected?"

"It's not wise to hate the hand that feeds you." Or gets you completely hammered. "And nope. No urges, no fantasies about anyone, no super powers."

"Jerk," she muttered around the mouth of the bottle. "You haven't asked why I punched Mozenrath. Or are you just assuming he deserves it all the time now?"

"Well it is Mozenrath." Kirk answered with a smirk. "But why did you punch him?"

"He told me Tim wasn't doing enough to deserve me - little bit confusing at the time - and then he serenaded me on deck," she ground out. "There was dancing. I mean, in retrospect, not even nearly as bad as everything else? But...ugh."

Kirk didn't even try to hold back his laughter at that. He really thought it was funny when Shego was forced to listen to song apparently. "Was he even affected?"

"Yes." It wasn't like she'd asked him, but he couldn't not have been affected, no way did he just know that song. Or how to sing. Or dance. "Go ahead, laugh it up. Next time it's so your turn to be doing something you want erased from all human memory."

That made it less funny but he just loved imagining Mozenrath serenading her and that was enough for him. "Yeah it's been my turn for the past six months. I'm fine with a flood skipping me every once in a while."

She muttered something unintelligible around another mouthful of whiskey. She wasn't exactly sure how much she'd drunk now, but since it was basically the plan to keep going until she was unconscious she didn't really care.

"Whatever. I hope the next one scars you for life."

"Charming," Jim commented dryly, watching her nurse the bottle like it was water, before he set aside his drink. "Okay, let's play a drinking game. Drinking yourself straight to unconscious is both lame and stupid and you can't do either in my room."

"Ha, if you can't be lame and stupid in your cabin then you should move out." She glanced over at him. "What game? And you can't say 'never have I ever', I'm sick of that already."

Kirk rolled his eyes at her, since if she was already drunk enough to make stupid jokes like that, then it was probably good that he was slowing her down. "Fine, I already know everything about you anyway. You ever play whiskey pong before?"

She gave him a look. "I never drank before I came here, remember? And I didn't do a whole lot of partying in college due to being a superhero."

Sometimes he forgot how lame she used to be, okay. Give a man a break. "Then I will teach you something great," he answered as he moved to his feet. He finished off what was left in his glass and went to fetch a few more. It wouldn't be a full rack for either of them but it would work fine. He figure she'd pass out within two rounds anyway.

"Here," he handed her the cap from the whiskey bottle while taking said bottle away from her. But only so he could pour it into the glasses he had set up on either end of his coffee table. "It works better with ping pong balls but I don't have any. Basically, you throw that and try and get into one of the glasses on my side. If you get it in, I have to drink. And vice versa."

Shego had apparently not missed much while not partying in college. She got up off the sofa with minor difficulty, fidgeting with the cap.

"That's the dumbest thing I ever heard." And then she flicked the cap into the furthest glass on the table with what looked like effortless skill in the face of intoxication but was actually mostly luck.

"It's better than chugging whiskey like a redneck." Kirk might have overestimated how much she'd had to drink so far. But he took his drink like a man and tossed it back at one of her glasses, without putting much thought into it, so it bounced off the rim of one.

"I dunno that that's true." She took her turn and missed pretty dramatically. "Isn't this kind of antiquated in space college? However many years, and you guys didn't come up with anything better?"

"We don't knock with something that works." As though to prove it, he sank a shot easily. "Plus, I grew up in Iowa."

She picked up the glass, plucked the cap out of it and emptied it in one go, deliberately missing the next throw because it was nice whiskey and she didn't feel Kirk deserved any of it. "And this is all you had to do for fun besides, what, cow-tipping and maybe impregnating people?"

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