gotgreenmagic

[Video; the communicator's propped on a table or shelf to show Shego sprawled back across a (green) couch, fully suited up, elbows hooked over the backrest.]

O-kay. From your perspective I've been gone for like…eight, nine months? Given the turnover the last time I was here, I'm gonna guess that means as many people have no idea who I am as those who do.

Here goes: I'm Shego. I was an Inmate, then I was a Warden, graduated an Inmate, blah blah blah, for reasons too dumb to report I'm back to do it over. [She takes the glove off one hand and wiggles her fingers.] To answer some previous FAQs, I am not: an Orion, radioactive, suffering from leprosy, in any way contagious, or related-to-slash-associated-with the redhead with the plant schtick. I'm just - green. Do not attempt to adjust your set.

So if you got here any time after September of last year, I don't know who you are. [Beat.] Actually, if you got here any time before September of last year, even odds I don't know who you are either. Go ahead and fill me in anyway.

...And I guess a rundown on recent catastrophes would be useful just so I know what everybody's whining about this week.

[Friends Filter]

Sound off.

Oh, and Arthas, just to preempt your 'I told you so': you're totally right. I couldn't leave. I tried to go home, but every time I went to sleep at night I just saw your big, scowling, mottled face and I just had to come back and see it again. Must be love, right?

[Warden-Bat-Filter]

[That is exactly what she wrote. You can decide if your character qualifies.]

Having some trouble tracking down Dick Grayson and Tim Drake. I'm thinking they've both gone, but - circumstances? Help a girl out here.

[Engine room filter]

Hey. I have no idea who's on this filter anymore and if the place is staffed then I'm gonna stay well out of it, but just so you guys know - I spent like two years working the engine room. I know my way around. Next time we crash into a hostile planet, beep me.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

No, but banter tends to shift that direction a lot of the time anyway.

I had clauses against that in my contract. Not the kind to mix business with - well, if I wanted to be hit on, I would not want to be hit on by anybody I knew in a professional capacity.

...wait what? No! I'm not-- I mean, man.

I'm not-- intentionally hitting on you. Apologies. I mean, you're a lovely specimen of human femininity and all, but -- I don't really-- I mean-- okay I do, but--

Look we just met and I'm not that forward.

Cool your jets, Casanova. I'm not accusing you of anything, I'm just comparing notes.

My archfoe back home was a seventeen-year-old cheerleader and my boss was almost old enough to be my dad, so it would've been kind of creepy anyway.

Ew.

Bet the cheerleader was vicious, though.

Only when she was ragging on my makeup. Otherwise she's kind of this...it's like she was grown in a tank to be the perfect all-entitled all-American girl, you know? Her parents are literally a brain surgeon and a rocket scientist.

Oh, God, okay, one of those. Yeah, the worst. Mine just crashed into this rich family's house and decided they'd raise him as their own, blah blah blah silver spoon in super-powered mouth.

That sounds totally horrible and you have my sympathies.

Think I got lucky on the superpowers front. My brothers and I were pretty much the only people in my world to even have powers, and they're all losers.

There are plenty of supers where I'm from, though most of us are engineers or some sort. Few are actually powered, and those who are? Pain in the butt.

Yeah, there's a heavy lean toward the evil geniuses where I'm from.

[A beat.]

Sorry. Evil [fingerquotes!] 'geniuses'. In reality most of 'em could barely tie their shoelaces.

I can manage my own laces. And boot buckles, and so on. Managing laundry now that I'm away from Minion. Cooking still eludes me, but I have someone determined to teach me.

And of course I'm aces with death traps.

Pssht, like that's so impressive. Death traps are the first chapter of the handbook.

...hold up, you had a minion called Minion? That is just lazy.

That's what my parents called him when I was a baby, okay. It stuck.

2.118

Engine Room

Engine Room

Engine Room

Engine Room

Engine Room

Engine Room

Engine Room

Engine Room

Engine Room

Engine Room

Engine Room

Engine Room

Engine Room