gotgreenmagic | Entries tagged with whacked space jail is whacked

...

[Facepalm.]

It's official. The Barge has got to me. I surrender. There is absolutely nothing about this situation that strikes me as even the tiniest little bit unusual. Everyone has fur/feathers/claws/slime? Great. Admiral must be wasted again.

But hey, I prefer a bunch of you as animals insofar as I can't understand anything you guys say, so, hey. Silver lining.

Does anybody besides Jimmy and I still have opposable thumbs?

[OOC: Mel, is it safe to assume that Kirk and Shego are off on their camping thing by now?]

I'm kinda wondering at this point if the Warden of whoever did it knows who did it and just doesn't wanna admit they didn't notice their Inmate building a doomsday device.

[Private to Mozenrath]

Hey, sunshine. Don't suppose you have any above-decks access right now?

So I don't wanna jinx it or anything, but is it over? Have you gotten that out of your collective system, guys?

It's not like the Barge/Admiral/whatever doesn't throw enough garbage at us already. I know that maybe 60% of the local population is psychiatrically unstable but there is absolutely no need to go all-out and make it worse for kicks,

[Private to Mozenrath]

Are you still alive? Say something. Barge isn't the same without your extra-special brand of girly whining.

So let me make sure I've got this absolutely clear and nailed down in my mind:

Is this wreck supposed to make me better or just crush my spirit?

...

Whatever. I'm done.

( Private messages to: McCoy, Angel, Martha, Mozenrath, Rayne & Dean )

New York.

Just New York? 'Welcome to NYC, here's a platinum card, go nuts' and that's it? Seriously?

Yeah, not so sure I buy it. Calling it right now: when we show up, it'll be underwater or on fire or everyone'll have the Ebola virus.

( Filtered to: West, Ethan, The Master, Mozenrath and Dr. Horrible )

Stupid ankle. Stupid crutches. I am so done with this.

Should be on vacation at this time of year. For Christmas this year, however, I would just like to be able to walk.

Also, the mind-altering decorations and creepy mistletoe can get bent.

( Dear Santa. )

You'd think the Admiral would make a pamphlet or something for the new inmates. 'So YOU'VE been sentenced to eternity in an interdimensional space jail'. I don't know. 'Welcome to the Barge, you're dead, you'd think things couldn't get any worse than that but they can and here's how!'

Maybe an instructional video. Or something more low-tech like a series of wood carvings or whatever for the pre-electricity crowd. Just saying, it'd save a lot of time, effort and irritation every time a new kid washes up here.

And an extra-special note for the new kids: I'm Shego. We probably won't have a whole lot to say to each other. Stay out of my way.

Okay, I am so done with this. Invisible groping on top of everything else? No, thank you.

[Private to Sirrus]

Hey. Everyone's favourite creepy balding torturer wants a chat with you. He's in the infirmary right now and apparently not allowed to use his journal to get hold of you? Whatever. He's pining after you like a schoolgirl with a crush, anyway.

The omni-jerk's seriously gone?

The one time something actually worth celebrating happens and I have to do it sober. Great.

[pause]

Ugh. It's been two weeks of nothing. Can we just have the next port or flood or disaster already and get it over with? I'd say the suspense was killing me if I wasn't dead already.

[Strikes are unreadable; also, her previous entry has been filtered to only those who commented on it initially.]

~~JUST KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY, FOR THE LOVE OF~~

So. Nice day, huh? The sun's nonexistent and the sky is...kinda black and depressing.

...seriously, how is it that nobody here dies of chronic Vitamin D deficiency? Vampires excepted, which is a phrase I never thought I'd use. Does the Admiral pump it through the ventilation shafts or something?

[Private to self]

Ugh, I really like it better when the bad stuff goes down and it's my fault. ~~Which I guess it kinda was?~~

[To JD]

[No message, but you'll find a copy of Bret Easton Ellis' American Psycho from the library left anonymously outside your door. Responsible choice, no?]

[Private to Ethan]

Your diagrams? Amusing and instructive. This heap needs more people like you.

[Private to Kirk]

Where are you? I've been at your door like five times and nothing.

( [Private to Mozenrath] )

Yo. Heard someone got killed. Might as well eliminate me from your investigation or whatever - Captain Cute has known exactly where I've been these last couple days.

Also, murder on a ship where the victim just comes back to life? Talk about a freakin' waste of effort.

Okay, so, I've been in some dumb jails before. And never for more than a day or two because, y'know? Dumb. 'I know, let's take the chick who can blast fiery death from both hands and stick her in a regular cell! The door's locked and hey, she'll behave, right?' Wrong. Thirty seconds later and I am strollin' out the front door. Or the smoking crater where the front door used to be.

So like I said, dumb. But this - this is some whole other level of completely idiotic. The doors aren't even locked, and I have all the comforts of home - nice touch, by the way! False sense of security. Very nice. But since I'm not a total dweeb, just give me those thirty seconds and -

[There's a 'whoomph' sound, then a very dull 'thump'.]

- oh, you have got to be kidding me.

[Long pause.]

Okay. That explains a lot. Anyone maybe wanna explain to me why my powers have gotten so lame?

Shego

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